Recently, we have seen many cases of Sexual harassment faced by women or children at universities, schools, workplaces, streets or another place in Pakistan where they have been through this kind of situation.
What we can observe is that this issue is becoming serious with every passing day in this society, it’s not only the reason behind creating lack of confidence among the talented girls or women at educational or professional level but also the reason behind increasing ratio in most of the child suicides in this society.
While on asking many of the girls shared their experiences about this one of the important issues of Sexual harassment prevailing in our society.
What I have observed in these experiences of Sexual Harassment faced by these girls is that “they have lost the trust on being called ‘Betaa’ (Daughter) by anyone”, because many of the incidents I have listened about were based on their trust started from hearing this word ‘Betaa’ from the wrongdoer’s side.
As we know that Pakistan is traditional society where most of us are raised in joint family systems, listening to this word ‘Betaa’ from our elder ones when they call us. This word means that the person who says it has all the respect towards you, he or she considers you as their child.
When I listened to these stories from those girls who faced Harassment, where a person called them ‘Betaa’ before harassing or touching them inappropriately, even if it was a girl or a child who trusted this most trustworthy word called by someone to realise that as if the person who is saying this had any sort of bad intentions behind this?
Like, there was a case when a girl shared her story that she was in unconscious situation fighting with her illness on a hospital bed when her mother just went to buy some medicines and there appeared one of the hospital attendants who started conversation with her asked:
“Betaa, is there anyone with you or not?”
to which she responded him in an unconscious situation that her mother just went to buy some medicines and that attendant thought that moment to be his golden chance and touched her inappropriately without asking her consent from checking syringe of her intravenous drip to trying to fix her dupatta, rather there was no need to do that by him and suddenly when her mother came he took of his hands to show that he was just standing there and then went away. But a women’s instinct can’t be wrong in this matter.
Meanwhile, another girl told me that on her way back from school there was a man standing, he called her saying,
“Betaa, please come here I need your help”, she went to him and he said:
“Please if you will help me grab the stuff from the lady who live in this house as she can’t walk having fracture in her leg and also do ‘Hijaab’ so she can’t give that stuff directly to me”.
The Girl said yes why not uncle? And she went to ring the bell, on which he stopped her from doing that saying, that he already has rung the bell, so she doesn’t have to. Girl was standing there, and no one came after few seconds that person who told her to grab the stuff came little near to her and put his hand on her shoulder on which his behaviour just triggered her and she got scared and pushing his hand away she said to him please do it by yourself and ran from there.
Later when she looked behind that person just turned his bike on and ran away without any stuff on which she understood that he was lying to her.
In these cases, the person who said ‘Betaa’ to them had no respect towards them, rather than of just taking advantage of the moment he had.
Like above there were many other cases which just made me realise that those girls have lost the trust on any one who calls them with this word ‘Betaa’ now, they even have told me that after these incidents happened to them they have questioned themselves that, if there was something wrong with them? Or was there something wrong with their dresses? But one of them was in her school uniform and other was wearing abaya in the hospital.
So, it can be concluded that it’s not about the dresses girls wear it’s about those shitheads who are sick in their heads.
The issue of Sexual harassment is not something Government will deal with we have to give ourselves a reality check that it’s our problem, it’s the problem of this society we live in.
However, in the recent most highlighted issue of harassment there is an issue between two Celebrities of Pakistan Media Industry Meesha Shaffi and Ali Zaffar, no one knows who’s right or wrong, but between this wrong or right fight it has suppressed the main issue which people have forgotten is ‘Harassment’ that how to stop this issue from growing its feet’s in our society, making our girls and children frightened of going out and stealing their liberty from them.
We must pay more attention towards the upbringing of our children both of ours Boys and Girls rather than of paying more focus on their higher grades.
We should teach them that before learning to get success they should become a good person in the way of treating others we should teach them basic and moral values of respect towards others. So that no one any longer have to be afraid of sending their girls or children out of their homes.