Yes, it probably is a little too late to say sorry. I wonder why Justin Bieber came up with this line. Like, there’s literally no simple and easy way to earn that forgiveness and trust from someone after you break their heart and leave them devastated. Well, people do forgive cheaters and liars for the sake of I don’t know what but they do. Not in everyone’s case though, what about that fool who is way too busy in his own narcissist world that he destroys everything good in his life and later realize that he made a huge mistake and wish that he could turn back time to the good old days. Yeah, that’s a line from a song I can’t remember.
Anyways, one wild day when the sun was shining bright with all its yellowish pride, a phone call changed everything for me. Everything means every single thing, from life to death, from love to hate, from sadness to happiness, everything. That was the moment when this fool came back to her senses, it felt like the Red lady from GOT resurrected me like she resurrected Jon Snow. (Ignore if you haven’t watched GOT yet)and just after that scene from GOT ends, I see a big crowded room and from a single glance it looked like the crowd was pushing each other towards the gate in an effort to get out of that room. I asked myself what was wrong in staying in that room, I was there too and I didn’t feel like leaving the room. It was a matter of time that I caught a glimpse of this person’s face who was standing right next to the door and wasn’t letting anyone get through. He had a weird smile on his face and he was staring at me. Why you looking at me dude? And why won’t you let them leave? I started having a conversation with myself about his weird expressions. A moment later, before I could even figure out what his motive was and what he was trying to do, he shouted at the crowd,” Look, finally the culprit is here”. I froze for a few seconds because he was pointing his finger at me and everyone in the room started staring angrily at me. I was so confused for a moment, who were these people and why was I the culprit? What did I do? Why do they look so devastated and broken?
I stood there for a good 5 minutes with everyone else. We had our first group conversation where everyone was mute and deaf. They were constantly staring at me and I was trying to figure out the entire scenario. A few moments later, someone from the crowd stood out and started talking, she was murmuring some words I couldn’t hear. Then everyone in the room started repeating her words, “She is the culprit, she is the culprit”. A man walked towards me while chanting with everyone and handed me over a letter. Everyone’s name, my relation with them and reasons for being in that room was mentioned in that letter. I read the whole letter and the only question I had in my mind was why don’t I remember any of this? Why don’t I remember these people, there hurt and everything they said I did to them? Why? Are they accusing me? But why would all of them lie.
I decided that I’ll figure everything out on my own later. First, I should say sorry to all of them for whatever I was guilty of and just ask that guy with the weird smile to open the door and let them all go. But it sounded like a good idea just in my non-existent brain. No one was ready to leave, they were demanding something from me I didn’t have. All I could offer was a sorry, besides I didn’t even know what I was guilty of. The look on their face was starting to terrify me. Was it Anger? Frustration? Sadness? A thirst for revenge? What was it? I couldn’t figure it out.
Shit was getting real, confusing and scary. Looking at all those different faces and failing to recognize who they were, they were so familiar to me yet they were unknown and this was scaring me to death. I wanted to die again and go back to my old world where I was so alien to these human emotions that I was experiencing because of all these people. I started cursing the Red lady, she should’ve stayed in GOT. I was so happy and care-free in that imaginary world of mine. I felt like I stayed away from this real world a thousand years and everything changed like a decade.
Now, I was stuck with a crowd of sad and demanding faces, standing there hopelessly and grievously claiming that I was guilty of breaking their heart and trust and what not and all I could do was ask them, “Is it too late now to say sorry?”. To which a beautiful girl answered, “There is no compensation for breaking a heart or trust, and a person guilty of this dreadful crime shouldn’t be given even a chance to say sorry. There should be a severe punishment for this crime as it is the deadliest crime of all”. She said this out loud and they all went out of the room and I was the only one left in there. They locked the room, took the key and everything I had. I was left in that room with just a letter with millions of complaints written in it.
Now I read that letter every day and every day a mystery from the past unravels before my eyes and I understand all my why’s which I couldn’t understand before. I was starting to comprehend the emotions on their faces and the reason behind each and everyone’s facial expressions. I took everything for granted and now I was sitting on the floor of that same crowded room but it wasn’t crowded anymore. It was just me, my loneliness and my guilt and it was too late to say sorry or to bring the old days back. It was too late.