Every soul will taste death and therefore, every now and then we kiss good bye to our loved ones. People gather up at the place of deceased with intentions of helping the family and sharing the grief of those who have lost someone dear to them. This might have been the case in earlier days but unfortunately, not anymore. Apparently, now it’s more of a social affair. There is no doubt about the fact that relatives and friends still gather up but now it looks more of an opportunity to measure ones financial status, curiosity to find out in how much pain the family is in or how much wealth did he/she left for his/her offspring’s. Not only that, there are few pre-requisites which ensure if a certain relative will be attending the funeral or not which includes if the deceased family attended a funeral at their place or the bond between the two families is crisp or not. Furthermore, in today’s society even the amount of grieve one is facing is measured.
Apparently, the perfect way to find out if somebody’s family is in grief or not is by the number of tears they shed and if they don’t, they are not sad, if someone is just quiet with no expressions on face it is again looked upon that he/she is least bothered by the death of a certain individual. It is beyond one’s understanding as to what are the parameters to gauge the amount of pain the individual is going through since there are definitely no rule books. It raises many fundamental questions on the cultural norms and traditions. Is it incumbent upon the bereaved family to beat their chests and shed tears to assuage the feelings of fellow mourners?
Some people take it upon themselves to ascertain if the individual is actually saddened by the loss or not and they even try to find out the reasons. According to human psychology, different individuals have different ways of emotional reaction to such situation. Some prefer to grieve in silence where as others tend to cry, some even get aggressive because they feel what has happened with them is wrong and unfair, therefore everyone has different coping mechanism.
Moreover, nowadays most of the people who gather at the funeral either consider it as a perfect opportunity to flaunt their expensive bags, designer suits or the jewelry which they bought from a trip to Europe. Since this is the time they get to meet so many relatives, social competitors who they might have met at a wedding or a party otherwise but this short notice meet up, gives them a perfect opportunity to show and flaunt all those who envy them that they are always well-dressed.
The food shouldn’t be less than the food served in marriages, it should be piping hot with perfect amount of sizzle and spice and obviously the meat/rice should be tender enough, if it does not meet your taste buds you got all the rights to object and shout on top of your voice. So that all the relatives get to know you are being treated poorly, because obviously there are other things to take care of like serving the relatives hot food rather than mourning over the dead body of your loved one.
For heaven’s sake, we need to snap out of these shallow standards and start living like decent human beings. The entire concept behind gathering at the bereaved family’s place was to help the family and friends, who are hardly in their senses due to the sudden death. Unfortunately, just like other things we have grown insensitive to death as well. Notwithstanding the pain the bereaved family is experiencing we continue with our gossips and shallow judgments.
Can we all just take five minutes out from our busy life and do some introspection as to what role do we play when somebody passes away? Are we among those who share the pain or among those who are only adding to it? A little analysis and self-examination would certainly help in not only making these gatherings more meaningful but also help in restoring the original spirit of these gatherings.