We need the love of our self as much as we are willing to give it to the people around us. Because you cannot give what you haven’t received and you cannot give more than you have received. Be it love, kindness or lending an ear to listen. We always take gratitude and pride in giving. Giving others a part of our heart. Giving them a part of our life. Sometimes we put our heart and soul in giving others the gift of our personal attention and care. In doing so we develop an unfathomable urge to receive. To receive the kindness in return. To receive the attention in return. This is a profound human capability to gain from the loss. To gain peace of mind from the loss of time spent on others. To gain contentment of the heart from the loss of spending on presents for others. In this process, more often we forget the most important person in our lives; OURSELF.
This year, let’s turn the tables. Start this coming year with giving to our self the ultimate gifts that we have been longing since ages. But the ones that we were unable to give our self. Sometimes due to the lack of time on our part and sometimes due to the lack of kindness for our self. We have devised strange ways to deprive our self from our own self. This coming year let’s try to be more kind to our self by following some simple drills.
Hope you will love yourself a bit more, the coming year onwards after doing this.
Hear Yourself Better
Hear more intently to your heart, body and soul. These are your life long companions. They are your best friend and worst enemy depending on whether you make a friend or foe out of them. Listen to what your heart is asking you for. Pay attention to what are the needs of that sculpted being of yours. Receive what the soul has to offer. Accordingly, change your lifestyle, alter your work profile, develop some healthy habits and improve your praying ritual.
Forgive Yourself First
As it is said that ‘charity begins at home’, same is the case with forgiveness. It also starts from us. If you can’t forgive yourself for your past sins, mistakes and wrongdoings; you will never be able to forgive others. We all know forgiveness is first and foremost meant for us then for others. This is to put down the baggage of the past that we have been carrying for long. It is for our own peace more than for others. So, this coming year put aside all your grudges against yourself. Forgive yourself for everything that hasn’t worked for you till now. Acknowledge that with the experience and knowledge that you had, you did your best. Acknowledge that you have tackled life with the best of your intentions and abilities and you no longer hold yourself accused for all that you couldn’t achieve.
Forgive yourself and do this with utmost kindness and without any hint of resentment. Utmost honesty and gratitude is also required to accept this apology from your own self and knowing that you have forgiven yourself. This is just one part of the ritual of forgiveness. Then, move on to the second part of forgiveness. Forgive others. Forgive those who have wronged you, who have done injustice to you.
Know and believe in your heart that sometimes people are driven by their nature rather than circumstances. Some people are bound to do good as it is part of their incessant nature. Similarly, if not always but mostly, when people are mean, selfish, dishonest and unfair to others; that’s also an undeniable part of their nature. So, forgive them for their nature over which they don’t have any control. Such people need our forgiveness, more than our response.
Love Yourself Unconditionally
Don’t torment yourself for not confirming to the expectations of the world. Love yourself for the sake of becoming comfortable in your own skin. Love yourself the way you are. Love yourself with all your inner flaws. Your insecurity, your shyness, your fears are all part of you. They can be tapered but can’t be uprooted altogether. Similarly, love yourself with all your outward flows. Your complexion: dark or light, your voice: coarse or shrill, your height: tall or short, your weight: over or under, your eye color: blue or brown; are just your physical credentials and nothing more than that. Keep it to the level of physical traits only. Anything beyond that is a disgrace to your own self and a denial of gratitude towards the Creator. Work on yourself but only to improve your well-being not to become someone else. Accept, respect and love yourself the way you are.
Use the Power of Solitude
Seclusion, isolation, privacy; whatever you call it, it’s a gift in every form. It’s the first step in knowing yourself better. Give yourself the gift of some alone time to ponder over your life. Develop a habit, go window shopping, cook for yourself, go for a leisure walk, listen to music, go on a drive, whatever you feel like doing, take time out for your own self.
We all are finite. Our strengths are also limited. Some day we are going to leave ourselves. Before that learn to know yourself so that you can know this world better. The time spent with your own self is the best time once you start to love and respect your own company. Don’t be a lonely soul in a crowd, instead become a spectacle in your own self.