Feminism and anti-feminism hold such brutally anchored roots in the society especially on social media that the moderate ones are always bashed by either of the mentioned above.
A- Party tags that men are trash. B- Party blames that women ask for it. Both parties are right yet wrong at the same time. Not every man is a trash neither all women ask for it but actually there is a separate tribe I would call “jerks” present in both genders causing the whole lot to bear the shame.
Yesterday, I had to go to NADRA office with my husband and kids. Before unfolding the story further, let me describe that I observe complete parda including abaya and veil. And I habitually avoid eye contacts but it doesn’t mean that I claim to be very pious neither I lack confidence. It’s just how I feel comfortable besides the religious factor, which is also a truth without any shadow of doubt.
Coming back to the actual point, we had some issues to get resolved by the officials of NADRA. It took us a whole good hour over there. As I described my get up above, I wasn’t looking like a chic or someone very appealing but still had to face so many irritating and continuous stares. It was not a crowdy day and one or two of the almost ten workers were busy working and rest were engaged gazing ladies. I even had to keep my kids at arm’s length from their weird gestures, including winks, tickling and ugly drooling smiles, as my husband was busy providing them data for entry. One of them, got a chance to utter a very annoying and cheap sentence that I don’t feel like mentioning here. I did give him a poisonous stare followed by a strict shut up call but he hardly managed to feel a little ashamed. All of them were in their forties or early fifties but the frustration was dripping out of their behaviors as they have been living without seeing a woman since ages.
Idiots like these never realize the discomfort they create for others. Ladies working with them in the offices must have been facing this on daily basis or we never know anyone of them belonged to the same tribe anyway.
Some of you must be thinking why didn’t I tell my husband immediately? Well the answer is “We are not always in the situation of creating a scene everywhere. How can we complaint about the uncomfortable stares? How can those jerks be confronted for such meaningless (yet meaningful in a way) gestures that actually mean bullshit? Sometimes we can’t even offend openly. Punching their ugly faces is quite tricky sometimes. All that we can do is to avoid and move away.
This is not the era for ladies to stay locked at homes, sometimes it’s inevitable even if you are a housewife. You go out for shopping, picnics and dining etc. Even the in-house gatherings or joint families are not safer at times. Don’t force your ladies/daughters to zip their lips, give them confidence to talk about it. Tell them the preventing measures. I want to ask all the mothers reading this to grow your daughters strong enough to give a shut up call to such stupid’s wisely and to train your sons not to be idiot adults like these. Don’t let them be jerks by following the mantra of “men will be men”. Tell them this is not cool to be naughty at forty, it’s nothing but shitty!!