Marriage is something every girl dreams of since teenage, fanaticizing about the dress, jewelry, makeup and mostly a life filled with love, love and love. But in reality it’s a complete different picture.
As soon as the wedding preps begin, the families at are at their best, meetups, lunches, “fancy talks” exchange of gifts and so on but it’s all a disguise. Unfortunately, marriages in our culture have been severely influenced by wealth, power and what’s given to the bride. These are the metrics on which a successful marriage is judged in today’s world in Pakistan.
Dulhan kitna zeewar layi hai? (How much dowry is she bringing?)
Jaheez me kia kia milaa hai, humain bhi to dikhao? (What gifts are given by the bride’s family?)
Gaari (car) mil rahi hai phir? (Are they giving the car? Aren’t they?)
Love marriage hai kia? (Is it a love marriage?)
Yeh itna photoshoot kyun karwa rahe hain? (Why are they going for a photoshoot?)
Sharam nahi ati dulha dulhan hath paker k bethey huay hain? (Shameless people! Why is the bride and groom holding hands)
Khana to bilkul bhi nahi acha (The food is not good at all)
And the list goes on and on…
Enough with all these things! What’s wrong with our society? Why can’t we happily accept that a nice decent family has given their gem to you who nurtured them for years and made them something which you accepted today and you still manage to come out with such pathetic mentality? Is marriage a business deal for the groom’s side? Is it another ladder to success?
Why don’t people realize that it’s not these materialistic things that will ensure your survival in marriage! No. it’s the character that matters. But thanks to our society who cares?
Another dilemma: Why do we associate materialistic things with respect? Please understand that parents never ever want their children to suffer, they would do everything in their power to make sure they give their best, if they lack somewhere so what? Is it that big of a sin which can’t be forgiven? If a family fails to give gold to their daughter is that an unforgivable sin? If the family fails to give “branded” items in dowry that means k beti soteli hai aur usko ussi ki shadi p sharminda kiya? (The girl is their step daughter that’s why they made her feel disgusted on her wedding day) How is this justified? It’s amazing how people comment and with all due apologies we as a society are heading towards the worst.
We believe in what people say! We don’t have our conscious anymore. A neighbor family can create the biggest fight at somebody’s home saying that your daughter in law didn’t serve me food while it was you who insisted that you didn’t want to have it yourself in the first place.
People please remember we have to die one day! Each one of us in answerable for our actions. Stop messing with people lives. Live and let live. Learn to create positivity. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes but we should learn to forgive and move on. Make your hearts bigger. Instead of thinking that you were insulted among people, think what will you do on the day of Judgment?
I am not someone who doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage, I firmly believe in marriage and in love, however, I feel sorry to say that despite the number of PhDs and so called educated families we are still “un-parh (illiterate)” and we are unaware of what actually “shaadi (marriage)” is.
It’s high time we stick to our rights and wrongs and let not people insult us. Educate yourself and never ever disrespect parents even if they did wrong! NEVER!