From school till university, self-realization of not being the most brilliant person kept hitting me hard. In all my student life, I was also grade obsessed like everybody, worked too hard, still ended up into an average range. My average grades terrified me to the core. I’d mention myself a quick learner in my resume, which sometimes makes me laugh. Still I use to take more than usual time in learning a simple concept because I dig out the logic or the basic idea behind everything yet sometimes I failed to catch the root. Seeing myself short of the ideal sometimes left me feeling utterly exhausted. But this does not bother me anymore.
Our values make us insecure and desperate for being liked and accepted and determine all of our actions and beliefs. We wake up every day determined to work harder, strive to be the best, to have the best. We work to get those ‘WOW’ moments in our life that we found in the stories of people like Imran Khan, or Jack Ma, Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy, or Steve Jobs.
It’s nothing wrong at all to admire a revolutionary businessman, an inspirational athlete, a philanthropist, a film maker, or a sci-fi author. Our inspiration awakens us to new possibilities to actualize our grand ideas. But our endeavors does not necessarily turn into a world-changing achievement, you have days when you feel low, feels that you haven’t done enough sneak up on you. You couldn’t achieve something you put your heart into. Which crushes your soul, shame gets to the core of your self-esteem, stir up your feelings of fear and sadness, anxiety and depression.
Where in lies the problem?
Am I looking for inspiration in wrong places? Shouldn’t we set high standards for the important areas of our life? Is it wrong not to put up with less than what you are capable of doing? Was my hard work a total waste of time?
Problem lies in your thoughts. You wanted to be amazing, at top of ladder, an extraordinary person. And you have dedicated tons of time and energy yet failed to achieve your goals. You begin to believe that you can never make it as you are just an ordinary person, living an average life. Well that might be true but what’s wrong with that? Yes you are a mediocre, you are an average person, and you could be so much better. This ordinary is actually what matters. Only this will allow you to accomplish what you truly want to accomplish.
Till the day I accepted myself an average, not so brilliant, mediocre, I am no longer being harsh on myself. Now, I am having a healthy obsession of self-improvement and the feeling is not nuisance, it’s actually great. Having an obsession for continuous improvement, with passion to learn every minute, you can do big things. Life is all about exploring different paths, unleashing your potential, finding out the one that excites your spirit & celebrating every step you are taking every day.
I still have some goals that move me forward. And the people I am inspired with, teach me to do the best I can. It’s a journey, not a destination that gives meaning to my life. I am a 9 to 5 person with a passion for learning, love to pen my thoughts even though I know there are not so many people out there to read my stuff but I am still practicing for the few. While, keeping the things around which bring growth to me as a person. Even small things can make a meaningful and outsized impact.
You also have a burning ambition to achieve something in your life. You make a step forward but take two steps back and hold it there in case of defeat. You think of yourself a mediocre & subsequently start spending a lot of time blaming yourself. But it’s absolutely nothing wrong with being average. Make goals, work hard to be the best you can be and judge your accomplishment by where you were standing as a person then and now. Keep pushing your boundaries because every effort counts.
You are a unique soul that no one can replicate.