Whenever i go to a mall or a restaurant and find the married couples with or without children there, unconsciously, I observe them. Here are some of my observations about them. Over 90% of them will look unhappy as if they are together just because of their kids. There will be no happiness on their faces. The Father would be reading a newspaper on lunch table and mother would be doing something different entirely without having any interaction with her husband. Why could be the reason? Well, since childhood, we are taught that children are like a force that keeps both husbands and wives together as if it is necessary to have babies for developing mental strength required to tolerate partners you are not happy to be with.
Children who don’t grow up in happy families and do not see their parents loving each other, cracking jokes, laughing and having a good quality time together. With the passage of time, such children develop passive-aggressive behavior. People with such behaviour are mostly surrounded by some sort of family drama between their parents. Their subconscious mind accepts that as a reality of long-term relationship because they don’t know any better example. They think that’s how relationships are. Having a relationship – for them – basically means having heart breaks and tolerating each other without having any excitement or joy in life.
What makes things worse in third world countries is their conservative societies where showing love and emotions is considered shameless. Relationships are needlessly overcomplicated and most people aren’t even allowed to marry a person of their choice. A lot of stakeholders get involved between two people, and because of that sometimes entire marriage starts to feel more like a slavery contract than two mature people -being in an actual and healthy relationship- living together. Growing up as a kid among such parents can trigger passive aggressive behavior in people.
Such people can’t handle it when things are normal because their mind is not used to it. They want drama to spice things up a bit every now and then and they prefer to be in the company of people with a similar mindset. When things are going well in their lives for some reason then that company encourages them to create some drama for their own entertainment or satisfaction. When these people give birth to the kids, then those kids also start to behave similarly, as they grow up after observing their parents for years. It’s a never-ending cycle that must be broken to promote the healthy relationships in the next generation. We shouldn’t forget that our behavior not just affects us but also our future generations. Hence we should improve ourselves to improve lives of our children.