Breaking News: Here Is The Actual Story Behind The Rape Case

Timkinabad (Kayamat Desk) — A seven-year-old girl was allegedly subjected to sexual assault in Timkinabad on Wednesday, several media houses reported.

The Fast News, being the self-acclaimed no. 1 channel of the whole world, decided to go a little deeper to dig out the actual news and we are glad that we did so.

According to our investigation report, the girl went to a nearby shop owned by 50-year-old pious man to buy some items which was just an excuse; her actual intention was to allure the man to get some sexual benefits.

The girl was wearing a seductive red short dress with no panties, Fast News found during the investigation.

“It seems like she had made her mind for that”, a resident of the area told Fast News.

A CCTV footage of the incident went viral on the internet – last night – in which it can be clearly seen that the girl asked for it and the man was innocent.

It can be seen in the video that the virtuous man was offering prayer when the girl arrived at the shop. She waited for him to finish his prayer.

Once the man finished, he came behind the counter and asked her what she wanted to buy? While rolling a lock of her hair around her finger she asked if the shopkeeper had mint flavored bubble gum. The man took out the bubble gum from the jar. The girl intentionally touched his fingers when he gave her the bubble gum. The man understood the intentions of the girl but did not respond. He started to read astaghfirullah.

When the girl saw her plan not working, she thought to play her final move. She put her arm on the counter and took a deep breathe followed by a seductive smile on her lips. That proved the last nail in the coffin. The old man lost in front of the girl. Then they both went inside.

A half-hour later, the man came back into the shop. After a while, he went out of the shop, probably, to buy something. Meanwhile, the girl started to cry loudly. People from the neighborhood reached the spot and found the girl half-naked and unconscious. They took the girl to a local hospital for the treatment.

The police arrested the old man immediately. The man tried to tell them that it was all done with the consent of the minor girl and she actually asked for it but a sub-inspector slapped on his face. Later, the police registered a case against him.

The Fast News talked to the lawyer of the accused. The lawyer said that he has completed his homework for this case.

“I have some solid proofs which I would present in the court. Those are enough to prove that the girl had a bad character. We can’t allow the young girls to take advantage of their age and innocence.”, He told.

The following day, the lawyer distributed abayas among the young girls of the area and requested the parents to keep their girls under strict observation.

Note: The above article is a work of satire.

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  1. Shah says

    I Have Never Seen Such Tasteless Satire In My Life

  2. yusaf says


  3. Omar Yusaf says

    Satire is Satire.
    This is just plain stupid.

  4. M. A. says

    RIdiculous. Coming from a girl, unbelievable!

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