Are you looking for a “bahu” or a “model” for ramp?

This is for all those aunties who are looking for “chaand si bahu” for their handsome sons. Getting married is the most beautiful feeling ever but unfortunately the “rishta hunt culture” in Pakistan has mentally disturbed so many girls.

There were times when the only demand of people was a gentle and educated lady but nowadays they want a complete package. The girl should be educated, she must have fair complexion as fair colour is their top priority, she must be an all-time chef, she should be younger than their son, she should be modern; in short she should be all-in-one.

However, the most painful part of the story is when they come to see her. It seems that they have come to buy “qurbaani ka janwar”. Every week or every month the same procedure is repeated and the girl is shown to new guests answering their pinching questions. If she remains quiet, they say that the girl seems unconcerned about the proposal, but if she speaks and chitchats with them they say the girl is very clever. Some aunties even check her bodily figure as she gives audition for … modelling maybe? All these series of steps end up in a big “No”. The reasons usually told are:

Larki ki height choti hy
(She has shorter height)
Larki ka rang kala hy
(She has dark complexion)
And the ultimate answer for all the questions is “Istekhara theek nahi aya”.

The poor girl always tries to make herself more presentable, hoping they would like her but the ‘no’ remains a ‘no’ every time. As a result, she starts losing her self-esteem. She starts doubting her looks and body features. She thinks that she is not able to marry as she is not compatible with the so-called standards of beauty.

All this discussion doesn’t mean that I’m against arranged marriages but I’m against this rishta procedure. Those aunties need to understand that they also have daughters and what you do with others comes back to you – whether good or bad. Kindly don’t torture girls and their parents with your rude comments and remarks. Don’t treat them like you are going to own them as your property. They are human and they have feelings too. Remember that if you make fun of someone, you may also be the victim some day.

It’s time to break the rishta stereotypes.

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  1. baber says

    Ya Ya fact to hay,but doesnt mean we (Boys ) suffer not 😉 Kammata kitna hay,Apna Ghar hy k bhai ka ,shadi k baad karki ko khan rakhay ga etc etc . well on a serious note the mothers or family members like some one for there sons in other social events (weeding ,meelad,party etc ) there decision is more good than those who knock every for families its better to finalise outdoor first,and then go for final approval.other than ya its lots of pain.even in this tech era ,requesting pics is also so embarrassing, even some time boys told family members to not ask but remember mothers are unstopable. So its not one on one weedings are like that and thats how there colours are.

  2. Muqaddas Ilyas says

    The income of the male matters because earning is his obligation but usually boys say we want working lady. And I have seen many men saying to their mothers the girl should be fair chahy khud” kala kawa” ho
    Inshort this system should be discouraged from both sides.

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